Thursday, November 3, 2011

Fingering: Pleasuring a Woman with Your Hand

Fingering is a term meaning the manual manipulation of the clitoris, vulva, vagina, or anus for the purpose of sexual arousal and stimulation. Fingering can be the entire sexual encounter, or it may be part of foreplay. To "finger yourself" is to masturbate with your hand. Fingering can be done outside the vagina only, inside the vagina, or around and inside the anus.

Outside the vagina
Massaging the vulva, and in particular the clitoris, is the most common way for a woman to masturbate to orgasm. The clitoris is usually massaged through the skin of the clitoral hood, using up-and-down, side-to-side, or circular motions.The labia and the rest of the genitals are also stimulated by massage and fingering. Fingering a woman the same way she does when she masturbates is probably the most sure-fire method for giving a woman an orgasm. Ask her how she likes it, or let her use her hand to guide you.

Inside the vagina
Fingering inside the vagina is often used to stimulate the G-spot. The G-spot is located about two inches up on the upper wall of the vagina, forwards toward the belly button. It can be recognized by its ridges and slightly rougher texture compared to the more cushion-like vaginal walls around it. However, you will probably not be able to feel the G-spot unless the woman is already sexually aroused.

Some women say the "come hither" technique, which uses the middle finger and sometimes the index finger to make a hand gesture like "come here" with the palm facing upwards against her pubic bone, is effective for stimulating the G-spot. In any case, significant pressure on the G-spot is usually needed to bring a woman to a G-spot orgasm. Shoving the fingers in and out of the vagina to simulate intercourse is usually not an effective way to bring a woman to orgasm. If you choose to do that, be sure the fingers are well-lubricated.

Anal fingering
Fingering the anus can be pleasurable because of the large number of nerve endings in the anal area and because of the stimulation gained from stretching the anal sphincter muscles when inserting one or more fingers. Anal fingering can also stimulate the perineal sponge, which sits between the vagina and rectum. Anal fingering can be used as an act in itself, or as preparation for further anal sex. Anal fingering can arouse a woman, allowing her to relax her anus and prepare her for the insertion of a penis or a sex toy.

Unless only the outer ring of the anus is being massaged, a sexual lubricant is necessary to make insertion of the fingers painless and pleasurable. Also, hands should be washed with soap and warm water before practicing any other sexual activity to avoid spreading bacteria or germs.

Pleasuring a woman with your hand can yield amazing results. Of course, it's up to you to figure out exactly what your particular woman prefers when it comes to speed, tempo, and amount of fingers. You should encourage her to be vocal about what she likes.

If you are looking for new ways to please your partner, OPRAH! love expert Michael Webb reveals how to bring back the fire to your love life. So, if you're ready to add more heat to the bedroom, click here.

4 comments:

Stalkholm said...

Amy, excellent article! I hate to admit it but I; like most men, feel clueless when it comes to fingering and the like. Oral sex? There are thousands of books on that. Intercourse? Thousands more. Anal sex? Same story. Fingering? ~A cricket chirps in the distance.~

A question I'd like to ask if I may: When I attempt to stimulate my significant other's G-Spot I generally get one of two reactions "Ouch!" or "Stop, I need to pee."

Now that I think about it, I've got two more questions actually. When it comes to stimulating the G-Spot which technique is best, to curl the fingers up repeatedly like pulling a trigger or to rub or neither? Also, when it comes to grooming the fingernails I'm lost. Clip, file, polish, file, polish, trim, repeat.... makes no sense to me. =/

Okay, that was longer than I expected. Anyway, great article and keep up the great writing. :D

Amy Richardson said...

Thanks for the compliment! "Clip, file, polish, file, polish, trim, repeat" makes no sense? "Ouch!" may mean you've scratched her. Make sure your fingernails are filed smooth, and even then, use the pads rather than the tips to apply pressure.

For G-spot stimulation, move your fingers in even circles all around the inside of the vagina. It generally feels best if you keep consistent, firm pressure along the entire length of the vaginal walls while fingering. You may wsnt to give a LITTLE extra pressure towards her belly as long as you don't break the steady rhythm. When she is aroused, and you can feel the G-spot, stop rotating your fingers and rest your fingers on the (usually slightly ridged) area of the vagina just behind the pubic bone and exert pressure towards her belly (upwards). This is direct G-spot stimulation, and it usually feels best if the fingers are subtly moving. You can move your fingers in small, slow circles, or point your fingers more sharply and rock them back and forth (but don't dig in with your fingernails).

The need to "pee" is something she will have to learn to recognize as a sign of arousal. If she went to the bathroom before sex, she doesn't need to pee. The feeling will go away with more stimulation.

Jim said...

How about something more basic? How can I get my wife to even allow me to do this? She has gotten extremely narrow in what she will do. Me fingering her is not in the cards. She won't even do herself, so you can imagine, any type of oral is out of the question. And I will not try and 'talk her into it' or anything of the sort as I think if she isn't willing, trying to force the issue is just wrong. Is there something more at work than here than just her opposition to any manual stimulation.

Amy Richardson said...

I think there must be something more, though I don't what it could be. Manual sex is really basic. That's how most girls and women masturbate, and virgins will allow boys to finger them when they won't allow oral or penetration.

I know you don't want to hear this, but you're going to have to ask her what's wrong. You have to ask in an inquiring way and listen to what she says and ask more questions if she's evasive. I assume you really want an answer to your question, and that's the only way to get it: from her.